Humorous Haiku

I went to a friend’s 50th birthday party last week and shared a modest collection of Jewish haiku that got a few laughs.  I then presented a few personal stanzas which seemed to go over even better.  So, I thought I’d write a few more to see if I could inspire 50 of my friends to make a $20 (or more) donation to Charity: Water.  My campaign ends in 7 days so if you want to skip my poetry, click here .  If you want to know why I started this campaign, you can read the article I wrote on Charity: Water founder Scott Harrison click here . If you want to know what I learned about using social media to fund raise, click here .  I you want me to thank me for any of the articles I’ve written, feel free to donate by the word.

I ask for little
when twenty buys a full year
of fresh clean water.

You drink it daily
like water from a faucet.
What if you could not?

Help the Bayaka
get a well and get well too.
Hope springs eternal.

There is nothing funny about not having fresh clean water. Without it, there is little hope. Yet, if laughter cleanses the soul, then maybe the haiku series below will inspire you to help me help the Bayaka. To see a video of the first well being drilled for the Bayaka, click here.

Thanks for reading this,

Drew

A Collection of Jewish Haiku

After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

Lacking fins or tail
the gefilte fish swims with
great difficulty.

Yom Kippur — Forgive
me, Lord, for the Mercedes
and all that lobster.

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
got it at Loehmann’s.

Sorry I’m not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I’ve done?

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh

Left the door open
for the Prophet Elijah.
Now the cat is gone.

Quietly murmured
at Saturday services —
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

A Lone Tooth Does Not A Marketing Smile Make

Given the choice between asking friends to make a donation and a root canal without anesthesia, I know a number of people who’d chose the latter.  Not I.  Stay away from my gums if you please, give me a cause to believe in and off I go badgering friends like a dental professional with a sharp metal pick, sometimes hitting the right nerve but more often meeting painful resistance.  Taking each fundraiser as a personal marketing challenge, yet I persist.

Ever the optimist, I actually believed that social media would change all that.  No more biting personal calls.  No more unnerving follow up emails.  Just a couple of tweets and the money would pour in like ceramic in a perfect porcelain crown.  Wrong again, medicine breath!  As I found out recently, fund raising via social media is a true torture test, revealing the cracks in the various options, offering a pointed reminder that a lone tooth does not a marketing smile make.

My recent fund-raising operation started with an introduction to charity: water at the SuperGenius Word-of-Mouth conference back in July.  There Digital VP Paull Young, explained how 4-year-old charity: water had used all sorts of viral marketing techniques to raise $20 million, every penny of which went to drill fresh water wells for those in need.  Intrigued by their success, I later interviewed founder Scott Hamilton who spent an hour with me explaining how charity: water came into being.   Totally blown away, I decided this would be the perfect way to test the power of my social network.

To facilitate personal fund raising campaigns like mine, charity: water set up MyCharityWater.org, which was indeed the easiest part of my effort.  The whole process takes less than five minutes during which you name the campaign, set a fund raising target, upload a picture and generate a link to your page for sharing with friends.  Excited about helping the Bayaka, one of the last remaining bushman tribes in Central Africa who are being forced out of the forest and denied access to clean water in the villages, I grabbed my link and started my campaign.

First up, a mass reaching article on FastCompany.com.  The article profiled founder Harrison telling the story of his personal leadership journey and offered up “8 questions for aspiring leaders.”  And while questions 1-7 did offer guidance, question number 8 was a barely veiled appeal, inviting the reader to learn more about the Bayaka and even make a donation.  With over 1 million monthly visitors, you might have thought that at least one would have made an immediate donation, right?  Guess again!  Raising awareness is clearly not the same as raising money.

Next up, Twitter. With about 1140 followers, I wasn’t sure what to expect but I sure expected more than one response.  My first tweets focused on my article on the Bayaka and these did generate some click-thrus to the article, a few retweets but not even one donation.  Switching gears, I started linking directly to my campaign URL with a more direct appeal that persuaded one single generous sole.  Thinking that perhaps it was a reach issue, I enlisted Twitter superstars like @TedRubin and @JeffreyHayzlett who kindly sent out tweets to their 55,000+ followers.  But alas, when it comes to fundraising, Twitter appears to be all bark and no bite.

Undaunted, I moved onto Facebook hoping that a few of my +250 “friends” would actually demonstrate a little love.  Much to my delight, a handful offered more than smiles, making donations and encouraging others to do the same.  One true friend offered advice on how to improve my campaign by lowering the fund raising target, “if its too high, people won’t bother because they think their small donation won’t make a difference.”  Taking his advice, I lowered the target to a still ambitious $16,000 but well below my naïve initial goal of $300,000!

Still way below goal, I turned to that old marketing standby, email, to push things along.  Not a mass mailing, but rather a highly targeted one aimed at friends and acquaintances I thought might jump at the chance to give back or at least return a favor.  Keeping my expectations low, I was actually pleasantly surprised when approximately 5% responded with open checkbooks if not open hearts.  Imagine that, email worked better than Twitter when it came to generating transactional responses!

Shortly thereafter, I was at a bar with a bunch of former associates from Renegade and several asked me about The Bayaka and charity: water.  They said, “Hey I saw your tweets but what’s the deal?”  I explained how a $20 donation would provide clean water for 1 person for an entire year and how not having clean water lead to disease and array of other horrific yet preventable social problems.  The conversation moved on but the next day, my donation count nearly doubled.

So, while my torture test is not quite over, the interim conclusions are as obvious as a toothache.  First, Twitter is more like a mass marketing vehicle building awareness but not necessarily generating action.  Facebook is a more intimate place than Twitter where friends can and will engage.  Email is quite effective if you have a strong list.   And lo and behold, good old-fashioned 1:1 conversation proved to be the most powerful social media of all.

PS–If you found this post valuable, feel free to donate $20 which will provide clean water for 1 person for 1 year!

PSS–If you have found any of my posts valuable, feel free to donate $40 which will provide clean water for 2 people for 1 year.